Your child crying heartbreakingly, a stressful morning getting worse and your panic just rising, it's something you recognize - it's totally okay! What can you do to make leaving easier?

My child screams and is so sad when I leave for kindergarten. What can I do to make the drop-off easier?

Being dropped off at pre-school can be stressful for both child and parent. For the child, dropping off means a transition, leaving home to enter the preschool environment with all the children and adults there. It also means saying goodbye to you as a parent. Most of the time, the child's sad feelings are an expression of just how hard it is to leave, not because they don't like the preschool. As a parent, you can easily be infected by the child's feelings, many parents feel sad, worried and that it is completely wrong to leave the child.

In a situation with a lot of emotions involved for both child and parent, it can be helpful for you as a parent to calmly and clearly put into words the child's and your experience and what will happen. In this way, you show that you see and understand the child and clarify the situation, which can make it easier for the child to understand and handle. For example, say "Now it feels hard when we have to say goodbye. You're going to play with the other children, which you usually think is fun, and Daddy is going to have fun at work. Then daddy will come and pick you up as usual". Young children have difficulty with time perception and imagining things that will happen later, especially in the case of strong emotions, so it can be good to remind them of the routine, that they will be picked up again every day.

Many children benefit from a recurring drop-off routine where they say goodbye in the same way every time. It creates predictability and security. You can plan such a routine together with the staff so that you can help find a solution that can be good for your child. This could mean, for example, that the child says goodbye in a certain place and that an educator then receives the child and helps it become calm and safe.

Even if the child has one or more educators they feel safe with and can be comforted by at the preschool, the parent often trumps all other adults as long as the parent is there. Therefore, the child can often be reassured and comforted quickly by an educator only after the parent has left the preschool. Feel free to ask the preschool for an update when the child has calmed down and is doing well again. It can reassure you as a parent to see that the child is doing well, which is helpful for both you and the child before the next drop-off.

Children often go through periods when they are more sad at drop-off. If your child shows that he or she does not want to go to preschool or if you as a parent are worried about your child's well-being, it is important to talk to the staff. Ask them how the child seems to feel during the day, if the child is playing and enjoying itself and eating and sleeping as usual. If the child shows signs of not being happy, the preschool needs to look at what they can do to help the child. The dialog between parents and preschool staff is important to get a picture of how the child is doing, the preschool staff see the child at the preschool and the parents see the child at home. It can be helpful to schedule a meeting with the preschool staff and meet again after a few weeks to check whether the changes introduced have helped the child. Parents can help find solutions and provide information, but it is important to remember that it is the preschool's responsibility to ensure that the adjustments needed for the child to thrive and develop at the preschool are implemented. Preschool teachers have extensive training and are experts in addressing the needs of children in preschool.

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