Pregnancy is the start of an emotional rollercoaster. In addition to processing our own emotions, we are often exposed to how other pregnant women feel. This might make you think about your emotional bond with the baby in your belly. Do you have to feel a certain way and do you need to have a strong attachment to the baby before birth? 

No, you don't actually have to feel a certain way before your baby is born. Our emotions are not controllable and there are no set rules about how you are expected to bond with your unborn baby. In this article, we answer the most common questions about bonding with a baby in the womb.

Do you have to have strong feelings for the baby before birth?

Let go of any demands or expectations of how you 'should' feel about the baby in your belly and let it be just as it is. Remember that pregnancy comes with a huge hormonal surge that can make you feel many different emotions at the same time, and we can't control how we feel.

Once you meet your baby, the attachment will happen naturally, but it is perfectly normal for it to take time. The most important thing is not instant love, but rather that your baby is cared for, loved and comforted. The infatuation that many people talk about with their children tends to grow over time as you get to know each other.

What can I do to strengthen my attachment to my baby? 

If you feel you want and need to strengthen the bond with your unborn baby, try to get to know the baby's movement patterns and visualize who is hiding in there. Is it a calm baby or maybe a mischievous one? You can also stroke their tummy and talk to them at a specific time each day to get a moment to both relax and bond.

As an exercise, you can fantasize and imagine your first time together. Here you can take out a notebook and write down what a day with baby might look like if you can dream. Visualize the activities but also the feelings you think you have! When will you wake up and what activities will you do? How do you think it will feel when you dress and undress, bathe the baby in the tub or feed it?

Can you be emotionally prepared for parenthood? 

You can prepare in many ways by reading up on information, getting your home ready or making the purchases you need. But it is the emotional preparations that you cannot control. For some, it may feel good to prepare for the first postpartum period by listening to other mothers' stories. For others, it is better to minimize outside influences. Think about what you need to prepare in the way that suits you best.