Sex life after childbirth
Many people who have given birth wonder when it is okay to have sex after giving birth. For some it feels natural quite soon, for others it takes longer - both are equally normal. Having a baby is a big change, and it is common for sex lives to change during the toddler years.
Is there a specific time when you can have sex after giving birth?
There are no time limit when sex is ”allowed” after childbirth. The important thing is that sex feels good for both partners. You and your partner decide together when it feels right to resume your sex and relationship.
There is no right or wrong - only what feels safe and respectful for both of you.
What can you expect from sex after childbirth?
After giving birth, your body may feel different. If you have had stretch marks or stitch counts the area may be sensitive. In the case of breastfeeding it is common for the mucous membrane of the vagina to feel drier and more sore in the beginning.
The female sex hormone estrogenic affects both desire and mucosal bleeding. As estrogen drops during breastfeeding, it is common to experience decreased desire or dry mucous membranes.
During intercourse, it may mean that sex does not feel like it used to. If you still have rejection, you should use condom to reduce the risk of infection - whether you gave birth vaginally or via caesarean section.
When can you have sex after giving birth?
Desire can vary for both you and your partner.
It is important that talk about expectations, desire and intimacy - especially if you feel differently.
Lack of desire can sometimes be linked to:
- lack of sleep
- too little alone time
- the feeling that your body is not ”your own”
- focus on the child rather than themselves
Try to be open and responsive with each other. Acknowledging, respecting and understanding each other's feelings is important. Toddlerhood can be intense, but there comes a time when you can more space for proximity again.
Don't feel pressured - only you know when you are ready to resume sex.
Rapid responses
When is it okay to have sex after giving birth?
There is no set time. You and your partner decide together when it feels right.
Is it normal for desire to change?
Yes, it is common for desire to decrease or vary after childbirth.
Why does it feel drier during intercourse?
During breastfeeding, estrogen levels drop, making the lining of the vagina drier.
Do you have to use a condom?
Yes, if you have a refusal - to reduce the risk of infection, regardless of the mode of delivery.
What is most important in resuming sex life?
Communication, respect and a good feeling for both parties.
FAQ - Frequently asked questions
1. Can breastfeeding affect sex drive?
Yes, breastfeeding causes a drop in estrogen, which can affect both desire and mucosal moisture.
2. Is it common to experience pain during sex after childbirth?
It is common for the area to be sensitive after childbirth, especially in the case of tears.
3. How do you talk to your partner about sex after childbirth?
Be sensitive, acknowledge each other's feelings and take it at your own pace.
4. Is it normal to feel no desire at all?
Yes, especially during the toddler years. The body and everyday life need time to find balance again.
If you want to read about childbirth-related tears, you can do so here.
