There is a big difference between children and how much they sleep. In the first three months, children usually sleep around 15-18 hours per day. By the age of 3-12 months, children sleep up to 17 hours a day, usually 9-12 hours at night and 2-5 during the day. Children aged 1-2 years usually sleep 12-14 hours per day, with 1-2 hours during the day.

Why do children wake up at night?

Waking up during the night is part of the child's sleep pattern. A sleep cycle consists of 4 phases: drowsiness, light sleep, deep sleep and dream sleep. When sleep is shallowest, they often wake up. Even adults often wake up during the night, although we usually don't remember it. Other common reasons why children wake up at night are because they are hungry, want closeness, warmth or a dry diaper. When children are sick or have a tummy ache, they usually wake up more often. During the night, children process the impressions they have received during the day, and during periods when they have received many new impressions, their sleep can become more restless. This may be the case, for example, when the child has made motor progress, such as starting to crawl, or when the child is undergoing a major change, such as starting preschool. The child needs more support and closeness during the night in these sensitive periods.

Is there anything I can do to help my child get optimal sleep at night?

Children are different and their needs around sleep and sleep habits in the first two years vary depending on their age, developmental stage, temperament and what they experience during the day. The personalities of the parent(s) also play a role in finding sleep habits that are right for you. The best sleep routine for one period may need to change as the child gets older and needs change. Try to experiment and be sensitive to your child's signals. In general, to optimize your baby's sleep, aim to make bedtime and nighttime routines as safe and predictable as possible for your baby. Infants and young children, generally throughout their preschool years, have a great need for security and closeness during the night.

During the first few months, it is good to try to have a flexible approach to the baby's sleep as the baby has not yet established a circadian rhythm. Sleep is now mostly governed by hunger and satiety and can vary greatly from day to day. Strive to get to know your baby and follow their cues, such as feeding when they seem hungry and helping them fall asleep when they seem tired. Keep the room dark and quiet when the baby is eating at night, to show that it is night time. The baby needs a lot of closeness.

At 3-4 months, many people find that some routines start to fall into place and the child begins to establish a circadian rhythm. It may now be time to introduce an evening routine before bedtime and during bedtime. Find a recurring routine where you do something quiet together that the child appreciates. The evening routine can take different forms, but in general it is good to strive for fixed recurring times for when it starts, that it is calm with few impressions and that it provides closeness to the parent. Aim for subdued lighting and fewer distractions. The evening routine has several features that support sleep. The closeness to the parent and the fact that they return in the same way every evening provides security and predictability, which makes it easier to fall asleep. The reduction of impressions and calmer activities help the child to unwind and relax. It also supports the child's natural circadian rhythm by signaling that it is evening and time to sleep.

Helping the child to fall asleep

Falling asleep means letting go and no longer being awake and in contact with the parent or caregiver. You can help your child to fall asleep by being there and gradually decreasing the closeness and contact until the child falls asleep.

To help the child go back to sleep, it is a good idea to try to provide as much contact and closeness as the child seems to need at the time, but not more stimulation than necessary. If the child wakes up, listen and try to hear what the child needs. If the child wakes up and seems calm, they may not need any contact at all to go back to sleep. Another time, the child may need some reassuring words, another time body contact such as a reassuring hand on the back. If the child wakes up and is sad, they may need to be held to calm them down. Providing as much contact and support as the child needs in the moment to go back to sleep gives the child the experience that support is available when needed during the night. This gives the child a sense of security, which is good for sleep, and the child will increasingly be able to fall back asleep on their own. Try to listen to the child's sounds and signals and let them guide how much contact is needed.

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