What happens when happiness and longing turn into bottomless sorrow? Who do you turn to when you feel the loneliest in the world? The death of a baby in the womb is rare in Sweden, but that doesn't mean we want to avoid talking about it. In this article, we want to give you information about Intrauterine Fetal Death - and share the help that is available.

Intrauterine fetal death, also known as stillbirth, is when a fetus dies in the womb. In Sweden, around 400 babies are born dead every year, and in most cases the baby dies late in pregnancy. Approximately 40% die after week 37+0, when the pregnancy is considered full term. In high-income countries, such as Sweden, most stillbirths (90%) are detected before labor begins.

Managing intrauterine fetal death

Parents facing this tragic loss often feel a deep and complex grief and despair. Trying to understand that one's expectations and dreams of welcoming a new life have been shattered is overwhelming. Questions without answers swirl around in your head: Why? How could this happen?

In the time that follows, as parents begin to process the grief, a cascade of different emotions can come. Sadness, anger, guilt and loneliness can alternate, sometimes on a daily basis. Navigating this emotional rollercoaster requires patience and support from loved ones, as well as professional help when needed.

It is also important to understand that each person's journey through grief is unique and that there is no 'right' or 'wrong' way to deal with the loss of a child. Allow yourself to feel, to cry, to remember and to heal at your own pace.

Where can you turn for help?

For most people who experience the loss of a young child and go through that grief, they are well supported and helped by family members and others around them. But for various reasons, grief can sometimes be more complicated. Something that can be good to know then, is that there is professional help available. 

One option is to seek help at a women's clinic. The help offered by different women's clinics can vary, but most offer counseling and support. Some also offer the opportunity to meet and talk to a psychologist.

At a later stage, a conversation with the health professional who was present during the birth can help you through the process.

Who will understand?

It is not uncommon for parents to feel alone and misunderstood. Regardless of the support from loved ones, but also health professionals, you may struggle with thoughts like "you don't understand me, really". Some parents feel the need to meet others who are in, or have been in, the same situation. Then there are Infant Fund. They can help you meet others and share your experiences with each other. Through spontaneous meetings that take place online, you can connect with other parents. The Infant Fund also has a number of members who are appointed to lead voluntary support activities.

You can also find information on how to help a sibling who may need to understand what has happened.

Links:

Infant Fund: Here you can find information and support for parents and caregivers.

Stillbirth: Here, midwife and researcher Ingela Rådestad shares her experiences.